RØB Severson (jabberwocky) wrote,
RØB Severson
jabberwocky

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The Whopper Question


Back me up on this one, guys (I've taken out text where we strayed from the Whopper issue, but every address to the question of whether Whoppers candy is hollow has been left in, no matter what):

F L I P F L O B (2:08:21 PM): I want some Whoppers candy is what I feel like eating right now
F L I P F L O B (2:08:25 PM): Mmmmm...wouldn't those be good?
F L I P F L O B (2:08:37 PM): ugh, I gotta cut this "wake up late and don't eat breakfast" shit out.
LaurenNugget (2:09:00 PM): WHOPPERS ARE SOME OF THE GROSSEST SHIT OUT THERE
F L I P F L O B (2:09:24 PM): You don't like Whoppers?
F L I P F L O B (2:09:27 PM): Damn, dude.
F L I P F L O B (2:09:33 PM): Malted Milk Balls are great.
LaurenNugget (2:09:35 PM): WHOPPERS MAKE ME EMBARASSED TO BE HUMAN
LaurenNugget (2:09:57 PM): I SPIT THOSE FUCKERS OUT IF THEY SOMEHOW WORM THEIR WAY IN
F L I P F L O B (2:10:19 PM): Worm their way in?
F L I P F L O B (2:10:22 PM): How would they do that?
LaurenNugget (2:10:27 PM): yeah like if i think they're not a whopper
F L I P F L O B (2:10:29 PM): You're strange. Whoppers rock balls.
F L I P F L O B (2:10:34 PM): Man, how odd
LaurenNugget (2:10:35 PM): oh my god they make me sick
F L I P F L O B (2:10:37 PM): Whoppers are great
LaurenNugget (2:10:37 PM): malt is so sick
F L I P F L O B (2:10:42 PM): Malt is so GOOD.
LaurenNugget (2:10:44 PM): oh my god
LaurenNugget (2:10:46 PM): it is so sick
LaurenNugget (2:10:48 PM): and they're hollow
LaurenNugget (2:10:51 PM): what a waste
F L I P F L O B (2:10:53 PM): I had a chocolate malt at Courtesy the other day
F L I P F L O B (2:10:56 PM): They aren't hollow...
F L I P F L O B (2:11:00 PM): They're crispy balls
LaurenNugget (2:11:05 PM): that shit's hollow dude
LaurenNugget (2:11:10 PM): it's sicker than sick
F L I P F L O B (2:11:11 PM): Uhh, no it's not.
LaurenNugget (2:11:15 PM): oh yeah it is
F L I P F L O B (2:11:16 PM): I eat 'em all the time, they aren't hollow
LaurenNugget (2:11:22 PM): no, they're hollow
LaurenNugget (2:11:26 PM): it's part of the reason i don't like them
F L I P F L O B (2:11:27 PM): You must be thinking of something else.
LaurenNugget (2:11:32 PM): no, i know what a whopper is
LaurenNugget (2:11:37 PM): and they're goddamned hollow
LaurenNugget (2:11:57 PM): like a KIX is hollow
F L I P F L O B (2:12:09 PM): That's not hollow, dude
F L I P F L O B (2:12:16 PM): Do you know what "hollow" means?
F L I P F L O B (2:12:24 PM): You can find out at www.dictionary.com, for free, if you need to.
LaurenNugget (2:12:30 PM): hey fuck you dude
LaurenNugget (2:12:33 PM): i know hollow and i know whopper
F L I P F L O B (2:12:53 PM): I'm just making sure. I've never considered KIX or Whoppers "hollow," and I've never known anyone else to, either.
LaurenNugget (2:18:58 PM): i've been taking a poll
LaurenNugget (2:19:04 PM): we think whoppers are hollow
F L I P F L O B (2:19:32 PM): Hollow means empty, dude. All that crunchy stuff is, by definition, stuff, and therefore does not constitute emptiness. Whoppers aren't hollow.
LaurenNugget (2:20:18 PM): that crunch stuff surrounds emptiness
LaurenNugget (2:20:21 PM): crunchy
F L I P F L O B (2:20:30 PM): It "surrounds emptiness"?
F L I P F L O B (2:20:45 PM): That doesn't make sense; that crunchy stuff constitutes the entire interior of the Whopper
F L I P F L O B (2:21:00 PM): It doesn't surround anything but itself
LaurenNugget (2:21:05 PM): it's filled with air
LaurenNugget (2:21:09 PM): if you were in outer space
LaurenNugget (2:21:13 PM): and you needed oxygen
LaurenNugget (2:21:18 PM): you could bite into the center of awhoper
LaurenNugget (2:21:20 PM): and find some air
F L I P F L O B (2:21:38 PM): Just cuz there's air there doesn't mean it's hollow, though.
F L I P F L O B (2:21:45 PM): A sponge isn't hollow
F L I P F L O B (2:21:59 PM): That's not to say there aren't pockets of air in it
F L I P F L O B (2:22:09 PM): But it's not hollow, by any stretch of the imagination
LaurenNugget (2:22:32 PM): but a sponge is not a circular capsule of air
LaurenNugget (2:22:36 PM): like a whopper
LaurenNugget (2:22:40 PM): like a sick disgusting whopper
F L I P F L O B (2:22:54 PM): Besides, if you were in space and needed air, chances are you wouldn't be wearing an astronaut suit, and you'd need more than air...your face would prob'ly blow up
LaurenNugget (2:23:38 PM): not if you had a gigantic whopper
LaurenNugget (2:23:41 PM): i mean a really big one
F L I P F L O B (2:26:01 PM): Pressure'd kill ya
F L I P F L O B (2:26:09 PM): Whopper wouldn't do no good if it weren't already there
LaurenNugget (2:26:26 PM): let's ask the authorities
LaurenNugget (2:26:32 PM): why don't you email NASA
F L I P F L O B (2:26:46 PM): Also, what does shape have to do with whether or not a thing is hollow? Nothing, nothing at all--that's the answer.
F L I P F L O B (2:29:59 PM): Well, I'm taking my own poll
F L I P F L O B (2:30:08 PM): And I'm coming up with a lot of "NO WAY ARE WHOPPERS HOLLOW."
LaurenNugget (2:31:05 PM): do you mean "no way! WHOPPERS ARE HOLLOW!!"
F L I P F L O B (2:31:27 PM): No
F L I P F L O B (2:31:47 PM): I mean, "there's no way in hell that whoppers could ever be considered hollow under any circumstances or by any stretch of the imagination."
LaurenNugget (2:32:10 PM): wrong oh wrong
LaurenNugget (2:32:13 PM): but it's naptime
F L I P F L O B (2:32:41 PM): All right!

So! There you have it. I'm not trying to make anyone look bad, I just really have no idea how a Whopper could ever be considered HOLLOW, and am genuinely interested to know how many people are actually under that impression. I wanna hear everyone's input on this one, cuz I mean seriously: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
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